At night

Oh, how they glisten!

The notes like sparks,

Won’t you just listen?

How they shine, shards

Of light and they darken

My oddest remarks.

Projects for the year!

Hi there! 

Did you miss me?

This semester, my outlook on life has really shifted since the 2nd-year internship this summer. Here and there a few illusions have been destroyed and forgotten, and I now feel freer than ever. And I am dreaming big. Really, BIG. More on that at next summer if these dreams do come true (and they just might! :P).

One of the reasons why I feel somewhat guilty for not having posted anything these past weeks is that I have much more free time than the last 2 years. I am literally looking at 8h weeks in terms of classes. But before you start rambling about how it's scandalous to have so few hours, and that I should've taken advantage of that to post, yada yada yada, you should know that there are many things I am working on at the moment. My time has indeed been put to good use this month.

First of all, I am deep into the paperwork required for me to go to Emory for next semester's exchange. I still have papers to fill out with the bank, which is very time-consuming and requires constant focus. Otherwise, it's pretty much done...for the first phase. Then once Emory confirms that everything is in order, I will have to work things out with the US embassy, which should also be fun! I heard they require a 15-minute interview with all visa applicants, and that actually seems quite interesting.

In other news, as a member of Sife ESSEC, I am currently working towards leading my own humanitarian project. It would consist of doing something to support Njala University in Sierra Leone, once a leading university in the region, which was destroyed by the civil war and needs help to get back on its feet. One of the main ideas I have is setting up a business incubator there, with the guidance of ESSEC Ventures and the financial support of major corporate players in Sierra Leone. In the short term, I am preparing a presentation for next week to try and get people on board.

Njala University

Njala University

Njala University

Recently, I applied to work as a monitor, specifically in inter-cultural negotiations, within ESSEC Irene, a (the?) leading European research center in the domain of negotiations, provider of seminars, conferences, and more, including to top universities such as, yes, the big H. Given my 13 years spent abroad, and my subsequent deep interest in relations between cultures, I believe this would be a very rewarding experience for me.

I am also going to retake the TOEFL asap. Now I know 108/120 is good, and I know it was enough to pass the Emory requirements, but the thing is, I should have gotten ~10 more points. I misunderstood the format, waited for 20 minutes like a jack***, and didn't get the chance to put in my answers for the very first text of the reading comprehension section. As a result, that section was graded 19/30, while the others were graded 30, 29, and 30. Just because I didn't pay attention. That's so like me to do things like that (don't laugh, I hate myself) , but this time, I am going to try and make things right.

In more general terms, although I do have fewer classes than the last two years, the work is much more team- and project-based. Read "long-term and difficult to plan out". I am part of approximately 5 different teams in various subjects and, believe you me, we are far from  roommates. From those who go back to Paris whenever they are free, to those who have other things going on (like me and my projects), to those who get annoyed and jumpy because of the complexity of the whole situation, it has become somewhat stressful. The funny part is, the work we have to do is not actually that hard or demanding. The real challenge is getting organized.

And I didn't even talk about the help I am providing my sister with to get her things set up in Paris. She's attending Sciences Po, and do you know what they study there? Uh-huh, 1st year microeconomics. And guess who did that most recently in the family (with a Sciences Po professor, oh, the irony)? Yours truly.

So yes, I have been for all intents and purposes, internet-dead this month, but as you can see, it's because many different things are happening in my life.

Busy...Busy-ness... Business. 

It actually makes perfect etymological sense. 

So why, oh why, didn't I see any of that coming?

Lessons from this Week/ "Explaining the Complaining"

So I came home yesterday. I thought the day was never going to end. Every minute seemed to bring its small share of pain. I realized a few things , beause, yes, I consider myself the "learning" type. I understood that:

-If someone gives you something to do, it's always your call in the end, but be sure to be balanced overall. If you become a "yes person", or a "no person", it will be used against you.

-Never trust anyone, and I mean anyone. Before you know it, even your best friend will be kicking you on your way out. This lesson I had already learned before though, but it's another story.

-When working in a team, the discussion shouldn't be between Titles, but the actual People behind them. It's just unnerving to have 10 people in a meeting room, watching a three-way conversation for an hour, and taking notes. You might as well stay in school and write down valuable things. This is especially important in situations where titles (and their corresponding job descriptions) are violated daily. It only adds to the irony of it all.

-Two days ago, we were reviewing a draft for a 100,000$ report that is due next week. Believe it or not, in the pompously named "Marketing Strategy" section there was written, and I quote: "Blah Blah Blah". Conclude what you will, but I, for one, was disappointed by the whole of mankind at the very moment the slide appeared. Maybe I'm just a perfectionist, huh?

-Leadership should mean thinking ahead, not smiling and talking "the talk". There shouldn't be any other definition of it. Communication is a tool of leadership, not the actual thing itself. Always keeping your interests in mind is one thing, but when it shows it's not leadership, it's ridiculous.

-Perhaps the most important realization today was that no one really cares about the job. People are interchangeable, and 90% of them don't actually enjoy what they do.

-Why is this last point so important? Because it goes to show that you shouldn't sweat the small stuff (ie your work), and that in this world, there is no need for you to choose a job that you like. In turn, what you're really left with are office politics. Backstabbings. Rumors. Continuous deception. I was ASTONISHED by the amount of effort people put into seeming rather than actually being. If that makes any sense.

- That is why some of you may have seen on Twitter that I was being pushed towards entrepreneurship. Because I am definitely one of these people who care about doing exactly what they want with their lives. And I certainly don't want to cope with any office politics. Jut 2 months of it wore me down. (one month to go) And I was never even a real target.

Yesterday redefined hectic, but only until today, when the bar will really be set high. Imagine two days, from 8h30 to 18h, walking in 47C from building to building to approximate their floor plates' areas by PACING!!. 3o times per day. There. That's why it looks like I'm complaining.

And now to explain why I (seem to) always complain. I have a strong set of values. Integrity is one of them, Passion is one of them, Responsability, Respect, Justice and Equity are also among them. Yesterday, almost all of them got transgressed, one way or another. Usually these values come together, in what is roughly referred to as "Ethics". Social ethics, work ethics, etc. I believe they are essential, that's just the way I am.

And by the way believe it or not, I'm not a "hippie", nor left-wing on the political side. In fact I am more of a "conservative", as Americans would have it. A "liberal", in French terms. Just debunking a few common misconceptions here.

I have come to realize, after 19 years, that I was the only person I knew who actually never cheated once on a test. Well to be honest, I did try once or twice, but turning myself in each time, after class was over. I didn't get the points, but I got respect from my teachers. To me ethics are of utmost importance, because I know first hand that they will earn you respect from your peers. Hopefuly, it will inspire them to be ethical as well.

Now look back on a time you remember saying or thinking "Thibaut sure complains a lot". Consider the situation carefully and look at the values above. Understand now? Good, you've decrypted the Why.

The How is something I need to work on. When I am revolted by something and want to share it with others, and try to make them understand how important an issue poor ethics can be, I should strive not to give the impression that I am complaining. Frankly, I don't personally care if the tests aren't the same for different people in a same class. I don't really mind if poor marketing and organization can be resolved ever so easily and make our school twice as good at it is now. I don't mind when someone in a position of leadership makes the wrong decision, or doesn't take the best.

What really bothers me most is that people seem blind to the simplicity of improving things. I am strongly growth-oriented, it's in my very nature. I cannot understand how people can bear with a non-optimal status quo, and put up with all these things that don't only defy essential values but also common sense, when they are sometimes merely a step away from the best situation possible. That's what really frustrates me. A lot.

Some say I'm a Perfectionist, but I'm really an Idealist (by the way this has been confirmed by multiple tests: I'm an INFP). Maybe it looks the same and none of these two is particularly better than the other.

But the major difference is that, as an Idealist, I NEVER "complain" per se. I only speak up when things can be improved. Think about it. Last time you thought I was complaining, didn't I say stuff like "They could've...", "It would be so much better if...", or other things along this line? Chances are I did repeatedly.

I try to keep it as constructive as possible. Granted sometimes I fail to make my approach very clear. It is a communication issue I'm not exactly fine-tuned on yet. But I'm still young, and as I said, I am a learner.

ESSEC Lipdub!!

I love my school!!!

Lipdub ESSEC 2009

Amazing!!

Rebuilding The Geek Inside

Hi! :D

Okey! So here I am, it's quite late considering tomorrow's test and I just had a flash.

What if I became a true Geek? Not an amateur Geek, a real one. Now, considering a Geek is NOT a "nolife", but actually quite the opposite, it would make logical sense to strive for geekiness.

This is true because:

- A geek is usually knowledgeable and curious, striving to accumulate things that seem trivial but are actually fundamental. (ie: how, from the inside out, computers and IT work)

- A geek is passionate about a few things, interested in all, and will usually go a long way to keep up to date and even try to anticipate changes: excellent for a healthy mind.

Apart from that, you may ask why I would personally want to strive for the geek ideal, and how. Your wish is my command.

WHY:

Because I want to! And the more I look at the average Geek, and see how this definition fitted me as a child (obsessed with science, books and comics, not too fond of mathematics but just enough to be good, constant curiosity, etc), the more I feel I have somehow repressed this part of me.

Come to think of it, I may have become a little French around the edges. I de-geeked if you will, starting in 6th grade. It was the first time I came to France, aged 11. I realized then that I had never actually been exactly French-minded, and that it was a good thing. I had never encountered such a hostile place, such closed minds (Since I was arriving after 4 years spent in Ivory Coast, people thought I was African! For crying out loud!).

And now, 8 years later I wonder how facing this wall has affected me. I had trouble making friends (which I eventually did) when I was actually most eager to make friends. Instead, I was called origin-based names, and even bullied in 7th grade. It was impossible for me to apprehend such a complete shift in paradigm: it was no longer a good thing to be open, sympathetic, or a good student to be appreciated. You had to be "tough", as they said. Friendliness was not the best way to make friends anymore. I now wonder to what extent I might have "beaten myself in" during the whole process of finding a few valuable friends in France. I started reading less and less books, science magasines, and comics.

And these past few months, it's all caught up with me. I have been virtually math-deprived for the past 2 years, away from any science for 3 years and I haven't picked up a decent comic in a looong time. And low and behold! I understood how important these things were to me. Sure I'm crazy about aesthetics, am completely in love with music, have a blog and surf around. But the truth is, I fear that I am losing my ability to think logically and feel a little off-balanced. It really concerns me. I'd love a good biology class, or a physics class (geez to think it's been 4 years since my last class on the subject), be 7 again and discover new things eagerly.

Nowadays I look around me, see the world, contemplate it, even dream about how it might be, briefly indulging in a fleeting moment of self-contempt. But heck, I don't even understand a damn thing about how it all works. It's really quite depressing. Like I've cheated myself all this time, -and for what? Originally just to "fit in".

Now HOW will I reconnect the geek I've always been at heart? Excellent question.

I am thinking of changing activities a bit. Surfing is not productive, unless it is to check out wikipedia, work, or write an article to reflect on myself and formalize my inner desires. ^^

I need more involvement in my environment. I am fed up with artsy detachment, and other bullcrap excuses not to make any effort. Basically I have to turn back my whole approach of the world. And READ. God do I need to read. I think I'll get myself a new subscription to Science Et Vie, but not the Junior version like in the old days.

Activities I have to re-connect with include the following:

- Reading (classic books, historical fictions, sci-fi, and more),

- Reading (science mags, comic books, anything interesting which ideally will become everything written ^^),

- Drawing,

- Playing RPGs :P

- Sport, and not just the sporadic run in the park,

- Move around, go discover unfamiliar places, meet new people, start new projects.

- etc. (<<<>

There. That should just about get me started. :)

The Big Bang Theory

Such a great show! I'm loving every bit. Sheldon is the best! :D

Atlanta here I come!!!

>>> Official Site <<<

>>> Wikipedia Page <<<

I just received (this Tuesday) confirmation of my affectation to Emory University in Atlanta for next Spring Semester (January 2010 - June 2010)!!!! :D

A little presentation of Emory:

Emory was founded in 1836 and has been called a "New Ivy" by Kaplan and Newsweek. Its "Goizueta School Of Business" BBA program was ranked the 5th best undergraduate business school in the US by Businessweek, above NYU 's "Stern" (8th), UNC at Chapel Hill's "Kenan-Flagler" (12th), and UC Berkeley's "Haas" (11th). UPenn's Wharton is still number one, followed by McIntire, Mendoza and Cornell. With its $5.5 billion endowment, Emory U is known for being a research-intensive university, especially in medecine (their pre-med program is amazing), as they invest a lot in cancer and AIDS research ($1.6 billion in 2008/09).

Among notable faculty are former president Jimmy Carter, His Holiness the XIV Dalai Lama Tenzin Gyatso, novelist Salman Rushdie ( writer of "The Satanic Verses") and many others.

Alumni include Christopher McCandless (the main subject of "Into The Wild"), Peter Buck (lead guitarist of R.E.M, -dropped out-), and several prominent politicians and businessmen (Andy Slater- CEO of Capitol Records, Duncan L. Niederauer - CEO of the NYSE, etc) as well as writers and scientists.

I feel so lucky to be able to experience a community with such a rich history of excellence. I will definitely try to make the most of these 6 months, Atlanta here I come! :P

Right-brained or Left-brained?

You see the dancer rotating counter-clockwise?

You are left-brained! (like most people)

The dance rotates clockwise?

You are right-brained!

*LEFT-BRAINED people are analytical, rational, logical, sequential, objective. Generally the way of thinking is structured and clear-cut. They will understand by building the big picture from its components.

*RIGHT-BRAINED people are random, intuitive, holistic (big picture oriented), synthetical, subjective. They will see the big picture and then consider its different parts.

Personally, I am right-brained (not just proven by this test, but by several others as well). The thing with this dancer test is that you can "switch" the rotation if you try hard enough (you'll find it easier looking at the shadow below), so you really have to trust your first glance to define which operating mode is usually yours.

Optical illusions!

Because we love them! (At least I do ^^)

Don't worry, I've checked them all very carefully, they are not animated gifs but real optical illusions. You can actually stop the "motion" if you concentrate hard and stop moving your eyes. Most of these illusions actually depend on the brain's own anticipations and the approximative visual information of the peripheral sight. By unconsciously/ mechanically sweeping over the image while looking at it, you merely imprint the approximative vision in your very short-term memory, the brain easily modifies this vague information, and holds it for hard fact, in order to fit the conclusion it calculates can be drawn: motion. Colors, shapes and the different priorities subconsciously set to each of these elements define the imaginary motion more precisely (orientation, 3D conversion, etc). And there you have it!

Verum Addo Pacis

Structures rip open and break

Yet the inside remains intact

The dove is gradually rising.

 

Long live the glad upraising

Of love where hate is

Of joy where despair is.

 

And when the night comes

We won’t be scared, bathed

In the sacred peace, that

Burning feeling of comfort.

 

The sky won’t be clouded.

The light blinding, but it’s the only way

You know it’s the only way.

IWRESTELDABEARONCE

iwrestledabearonce - "Tastes like Kevin Bacon"

Iwrestledabearonce- "Tastes like kevin bacon"

Very interesting music, by a slightly twisted band (check out their myspace). You're not sure what that means?

Here's an excerpt of the blog post on myspace introducing the new members (line-up has changed since the video):

"First is mikey on drums... mikey is a sexual beast and enjoys long walks on the beach as well as spooning.

next is mim on guitar... she is krysta's sister and she shreds balls. period. the end.

anndd finally we have dave on bass. he is a beast and makes love to the bass like it's an underage malaysian prostitute."

Heavy mosh parts + original music + lead singer and lead guitarist are sisters + funny bits + varied structure = one new fan...me! he!

:)

IWRESTLEDABEARONCE - "ULRICH FIRELORD: BREAKER OF MOUNTAINS"

2:27 to 3:11 destroys all!!!

Pursuit

Ever wondered what it'd be like to go 
From apathetic ignorance to enlightened willpower?
Run away, but escape not in vain.
 
Explore the vast jungles and lost temples of our time
Open your eyes to the futility of being self-assured
Unexpectedly calm bursts of violence
 
These walls are made of spiders
The ground is covered in leeches
Your nest is filled with slime
 
But find truth, find truth,
The darkest moments are lit only by the brightest lights
(And your madness is blinding)
Find peace, you’re now the prisoner of the freedom you chose.
 
Branches break under your feet,
The trees slouch in the heavy, humid air
Mosquitoes in your neck.
 
Rashes burn your skin,
Sweat crusting your hair
Dirt on and in your clothes,
And nowhere to sleep.
 
The trail is getting steeper now,
The air is crisp.
You can see the whole valley below.
And the bridge ahead.
 
All the bright colors,
Glowing even through the setting sun.
The strong scent of the blooming flowers
Makes your head spin.
 
You are above the birds now,
Above these white clouds.
(And Oh! The hypothetical fall…)
 
They won’t be keeping their terrible secret much longer.
Not from you.
 
The night is newly born.
Still, you keep ascending.
One step at a time, one breath at a time.
Following that haunting noise.
 
Your whole body is numb with pain,
Your hands keep shaking.
 
Breathe in…Breathe out…
Breathe in…Breathe out…
 
A sinister crack.
A dark bush trembled,
As though convulsing in violent, sudden pain.

Stop. 
Your eyes wide open.

Only silence now survives the tension.
Your pounding heart invades your mind.

Patient… rigorous… pressure.
 
And in that very moment,
As warm blood gargles up your throat,

Death.
 
All your efforts erased in the blink of “Its” eye,
Such a simple lesson learnt, truly.
About greed, envy, and pride. 

Farewell

Well hey gorgeous, what were you hoping?

You crazy, furious waste of blue

Didn't you see the days slipping away,

The thick moist night swallowing you?

 

The time has come, everything has an end.

 

What makes it frightening is shattered and lost

When you forget you're alone. You aren't.

Around, the dance has only just started, unstoppable,

And soon, you’ll see, I'll be holding in your heart, burning it with love.

                                                                                                             

A burst of white heat fills your insides, acid rain running down your skin…

I appreciate your concern, but you won't be cared for ever again.

 

You’re helplessly longing for more time, when it finally strikes you.

You’ve spent your life in your deathbed.

 

And when you leave us here all dried up like summer grass,

We'll send you postcards of the desert in Chicago,

Remembering your mirth, and innocent selflessness,

Applauding how we smoothly drowned you in yourself.

 

You’re so close, yet still believe in your strength as a shield.

Think again, for we breathe that painful sweet-scented air about.

And so do you.

 

You wipe every single grain of dust off of the empty floor.

You'll be safe wherever you are, tiny particles just craving to unite.

It's funny how a few million years can change convictions, so don't worry,

We'll come back here after the dance, to spare us this farewell. 

Irrational, explained

FEAR, stress, FAITH, envy, pleasure, beauty, LOVE, trust, HOPE, hate.

All irrational, yet feared, hated, believed in, trusted, enjoyed, contemplated, and loved always.

Why can't life be logical and clear-cut? "It would be cold?" What's that?...cold? Ha!

It would be EASY, that's what it would be. Perhaps a little boring too, but hey that's not too high a price tag for inner peace, right? 

I have this lingering contradiction in me: I know for a fact that if there was only black on the one hand, and white on the other, I would probably spend my whole life blending both in infinite shades of grey. To me, unease in its most vibrant expression. Such a brilliant driving force.

I guess my desperate need for a logical explanation for everything expresses itself in my constant emphasis on relativity. Trying to find patterns in random systems, whilst unavoidably acknowledging the complexity of the task. Trying to reach something simple the hard way. It's all very much like rock-climbing, mind you.

Always -and only- at home away from home.

And that's just wrong, isn't it? 

:-)

Fabulous movies..."Oh yeah, they're ab-so-lu-tely fab' " ^^

Hi there! :D

Ok, I know almost no one actually reads this blog, however it's always a good idea to keep posts coming, just in case someone stumbles upon it ^^

Today I'm going to recommend three movies I've seen recently that I just can't get out of my head:

* "Crash"

* "The Shawshank Redemption"

* "Torremolinos 73"

- Crash was released in 2005, and I believe won numerous awards. It is a very powerful movie about how people relate to each other. The focus is on the people of L.A. but most of the message is universal. Touching mostly on the issue of racism, the film also includes a spectacular view of the holistic explanation of fear between people of different social levels. "Blacks, Whites, Spanish and Middle-Easterns, Riches and Poors, or the difficulty of interaction in a world of misunderstanding". That could fit as a suitable alternative title. 

The movie dives deep into the psyches of its main characters, so as to allow the viewer to understand just how little control over themselves people have in an environment where stereotypes have power over individuals. Not only do these preconceived ideas about people keep others from seeing who they really are, but the movie also goes to show just how everyone unconsciously starts to fit these stereotypes. And thats the most tragic part of it all. Everyone feels trapped, because everyone actually is. And the only "easy" way out becomes violence.

- The Shawshank Redemption is a 1994 movie that I unfortunately only got to see this year for the first time. It's about an innocent man, accused of having murdered his wife, who is sent to prison for life. The plot is quite "basic", because it just seems like one of these movies that focus on stuff you could just as well read about in your daily newspaper. But the story line goes much deeper than originally expected. 

The movie becomes a tribute to willpower, patience, and the accomplishment of dreams, self-empowerment. As you see how this man leads his life in prison, intelligently laying low, yet gradually becoming a key individual for the prison's administrators, you learn more about prison itself. Of course it's a place of violence, of conflict, of loneliness and despair, but nothing is comparable to the destructive power it has on people. When you spend 20 years between 4 walls, you just don't feel the urge to get out anymore, because you start believing you could never get back to a normal life. Prison destroys dreams as it slowly becomes home. But not our man's. A very involving movie, with the touch of magic Frank Darabont always includes in his films.

- Torremolinos 73 is perhaps the lighter movie of the three. A Spanish-Danish production, it has that typical feel of Spanish films. The theme is love, undoubtedly, and how couples try to have their professional lives and love lives to go the best possible. The main character is a man, a movie director, who lives with an unhappy wife. His job keeps him from understanding that his wife needs more attention and love. Eventually, he starts making pornographic movies to make more money, and his movies feature him and his wife. The good part is that he spends more time with her, the bad part is that the wife starts to feel as though their renewed relationship is more of professional than romantic nature. And the husband is still completely blind. 

One day he decides to write a more conventional movie: "Torremolinos 73". The movie as always, features his wife. (who by then has become an international porn star without the couple even noticing.) They go to Torremolinos (a city in Spain) and direct the movie with foreign actors. But towards the end the producer decides that the movie needs sex to attract people. The problem is that the wife now has to have intercourse with a complete stranger, while her husband (!) directs the scene. The man refuses but his wife readily accepts. "Why???", one may wonder. Well, it turns out the experience is so painful the husband realizes how much his wife matters to him. The movie is a success, the couple adopts the child conceived during the scene with the stranger (the main character is infertile) and everything ends for the best! And that's partly why that movie is lighter than the others! :) EVERYTHING is fixed.

I hope you'll go check these movies out at your local DVD rental shop because they are reeaaally worth it, you can take my word for it (although I don't do refunds if it turns out you don't like them lol) 

See you later!!!

This is how laundry should be folded!

Hey, 

I know this is the lamest first post in terms of actual "content". But I just had to share this with you. It's my secret weapon when it comes to doing the laundry, and doing it as fast as possible. This Japanese-ninja-what-have-you technique WILL blow your mind as it blew mine, and will save you precious minutes when doing your chores.

 

Folding Clothes Japanese Style - CrazyAsianVids.com

Enjoy ;-)